A few years back, I made a decision to pursue my education and finally obtain my college degree. For me, this meant forgoing the usual adult work schedule, living very frugally, and doing the occasional contract job just to get by. You see, this guy has never been one to handle the school/work combo, but I've got the utmost respect for those who can pull it off.
Even before I decided to return to school, I worked a series of jobs that never lasted more than a few years...and those jobs ran the gamut from retail management to secretary to waiting tables. Nothing glamorous. The best I could do without a degree was a stint as a customer relations representative with a security company. That gig lasted five years. It paid the most--and that wasn't much.
My father worked for the same outfit for thirty-eight years! When dad got out of the Air Force, he wanted to be a commercial pilot. But after the war, there were lots of guys who wanted to be commercial pilots, and the air wasn't as full of planes as it is today. So, being the resourceful guy that my father was, he found employment elsewhere. He worked odd jobs until a relative suggested he apply to the Pennsylvania Railroad. His first job there was transporting U.S. mail from the small town of Kane to Renovo. He did this for awhile, then started to work as a clerk. It all started in 1947, and lasted until 1985.
It's pretty amazing when we compare ourselves to the so-called greatest generation. Even those of us in the happiest work environments always seem to be looking for something better. Maybe that's one of the reasons we don't have as many choices when it comes to work--good or bad economy. No one wants to stay put for very long. Even the people I graduated high school with--who actually didn't drop out of college like me--couldn't seem to stay on jobs as long as their parents did. Of course, I am not writing any of this to say it's crazy how times have changed or to make any astounding observation. But you've got to give credit to countless people like my father who stuck with jobs that weren't necessarily their ideal or perfect job--but a job to make life as good as they were able to make it.
As I continue to write dad's biography, I find that a big chunk of what his life was all about was his work. Today, he recieved a large package in the mail from Conrail (formerly The Pennsylvania RR, Penn Central) that details his employment history. I'm not sure who's more excited to go over all the details--me or him.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
News, Dad And Me
I just finished putting my father to bed after we watched the memorial service for Senator Ted Kennedy. It's amazing, even now, how much watching television news with my father has shaped my life.
I can remember sitting on our living room floor late in the summer of 1974, playing with my plastic dinosaurs. My father told me to stop what I was doing and watch the television with him. I did as he said and watched a live broadcast from the White House. President Nixon was about to speak from the podium. My dad, no fan of Nixon to be sure, watched with a delighted grin on his face and occassionally glanced down at the floor to make certain I was paying attention. "You need to watch this and remember...this is history being made." Some thirty minutes later, Richard Nixon announced his resignation as the 37th president of the United States. It was, indeed, history being made.
Many years later, December of 1989 to be precise, I was spending a month in Pennsylvania with my parents between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I was sitting in front of the TV with dad again, watching groups of people, young and old, dismantling the Berlin Wall. Once again, dad tells me that we're watching history in the making. It was amazing to glance at my father during that time, and see a look on his face that, without a doubt, told me that this was the most important thing that we could be doing at that moment--watching the news.
Today, I proudly call myself a news junkie, no small thanks to my father. Even though our news is a sorry shadow of what it used to be, I fondly remember the evenings of my youth, hearing "...and that's the way it is," as Walter Cronkite signed off feeding my father fuel for the political discussions that often took place at our dinner table. My father's opinions were clearly his own, but even when I disagreed with him based on my little understanding of politics as a child--and disagreed often, though not vocally--I respected the amazing conviction that echoed through dad's animated voice.
I saw a faint shadow of that animation tonight as dad attentively watched Ted Kennedy's memorial service. I asked him what he thought of it after the last speaker had finished. He paused. "He wasn't as great as his brothers, but he did some good things." He said it with conviction, as though that were the final word on the story.
I can remember sitting on our living room floor late in the summer of 1974, playing with my plastic dinosaurs. My father told me to stop what I was doing and watch the television with him. I did as he said and watched a live broadcast from the White House. President Nixon was about to speak from the podium. My dad, no fan of Nixon to be sure, watched with a delighted grin on his face and occassionally glanced down at the floor to make certain I was paying attention. "You need to watch this and remember...this is history being made." Some thirty minutes later, Richard Nixon announced his resignation as the 37th president of the United States. It was, indeed, history being made.
Many years later, December of 1989 to be precise, I was spending a month in Pennsylvania with my parents between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I was sitting in front of the TV with dad again, watching groups of people, young and old, dismantling the Berlin Wall. Once again, dad tells me that we're watching history in the making. It was amazing to glance at my father during that time, and see a look on his face that, without a doubt, told me that this was the most important thing that we could be doing at that moment--watching the news.
Today, I proudly call myself a news junkie, no small thanks to my father. Even though our news is a sorry shadow of what it used to be, I fondly remember the evenings of my youth, hearing "...and that's the way it is," as Walter Cronkite signed off feeding my father fuel for the political discussions that often took place at our dinner table. My father's opinions were clearly his own, but even when I disagreed with him based on my little understanding of politics as a child--and disagreed often, though not vocally--I respected the amazing conviction that echoed through dad's animated voice.
I saw a faint shadow of that animation tonight as dad attentively watched Ted Kennedy's memorial service. I asked him what he thought of it after the last speaker had finished. He paused. "He wasn't as great as his brothers, but he did some good things." He said it with conviction, as though that were the final word on the story.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
The Things We Take For Granted
It took some time but we finally got to the bedroom. I timed it at thirty-seven minutes exactly. Each night, my father's ritual is the same. Some nights he moves faster than others. Last night, he was moving pretty slow. He starts by announcing that it's time for bed. This happens downstairs, usually between 8 and 10 PM. After this, he ascends the staircase in a motorized chair lift while I follow on the stairs behind him. Since I've been here taking care of him, each time he's situated and ready to press the button, I say "...five, four, three, two, one...we have liftoff!" He always laughs at this. When we get to the top, he slowly moves out of the chair and grabs hold of a walker waiting at the top. The upstairs bathroom is adjacent to the top of the stairs so it's a short trip to the toilet. Here, I remove his jacket, then proceed to remove his tennis shoes, surgical stockings, shorts or pants (depending on weather), Depends undergarment (immediately tossed into the trashbasket. Sometimes I hit and sometimes I miss) and shirt. We place his glasses on the window sill and I get him a cup of water and his PM pills. He takes his pills and then we dress him for bed: a new Depends (lined with additional strip for extra protection), fresh shirt, pajama bottoms, white socks, and slippers. He struggles to pull the pajama bottoms up himself but always ends up needing assistance in the end. After all this, he clutches the walker and we're off to the bedroom at the end of the hall. This is the trip that took 37 minutes last night. When we get to the bed, he situates himself on the edge, I remove his slippers placing them on the walker's shelf, and get him positioned over the mat that protects the fitted bedsheet from soiling. After he's tucked in I ask him if he's allright. Tonight he responded, "What do you think?" I wasn't sure what to say. But I can write what I really think here. Why do we take so much for granted? Is it because we don't want to know how terrible things could be? Is it because we really don't know how good we've got it until the rug is swept out from under us? As glad as I am to know that my dad's okay and safe from harm each night as he's tucked into bed, I am saddened that he can no longer do so many of the things the rest of us take for granted.
(please scroll to the bottom for an audio file of this entry)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
How Little We Know
I like to complain. A lot. But I often think of my father when I get on a roll. That's usually when the complaining stops, because I start thinking of his early life and it seems to put mine in perspective.
Dad was born in 1925. He was the oldest of five children. His mom, Kathryn and father, Clarence lived in a very rural area outside of Kane, Pennsylvania. Clarence labored in the oil fields while Kathryn cranked out one child after another in rapid succession. Kathryn’s mother, Lucy, lived in Kane and was upset that my father could not attend school in such a rural setting...there were no schools for forty miles. On Lucy's insistance, Kathryn let my father go to stay with her and dad began attending school at Saint Callistus in Kane. My father seems to recall spending weekends with his mother, while his father worked overtime in the fields. He seldom saw Clarence. He remembers that Kathryn would have gentlemen callers from time to time. Of course, I am not sure what these gentlemen did with Kathryn--if anything.
Dad had only one interest and fascination as a child--airplanes, or aeroplanes as they were called in the day. He spent most of his waking hours watching the skies for these rare mechanical birds. He jokingly tells me that, "...I always had my head in the clouds." He was determined, even as a small child, to one day sit behind the controls of that winged machine.
One Autumn day in 1933, my dad was called to go back to the small rural home where he was coldly informed that his father, Clarence, was ill. Within a very short time, Clarence would be dead--a victim of infantile paralysis, otherwise known as Polio. His brief memories of his father in an iron lung were the last living memories of Clarence Boylan for my father. Dad was eight years old.
The next memory my father had of Clarence was his cold, lifeless body...laid out in his family's parlor. Dad was forced to kneel over the coffin, where the small child was told to lead the family in a Rosary. For those of you who aren't Catholic, praying a Rosary is a lengthy process. My father performed the prayers robotically as he cried tears that he didn't fully comprehend and time seemed to stand still. When it was over, he was whisked to Lucy's, where he would be raised away from his mother and siblings for the next several years.
This is how life started for a little guy who always had his head in the clouds, and I cry as I retell the story.
Dad was born in 1925. He was the oldest of five children. His mom, Kathryn and father, Clarence lived in a very rural area outside of Kane, Pennsylvania. Clarence labored in the oil fields while Kathryn cranked out one child after another in rapid succession. Kathryn’s mother, Lucy, lived in Kane and was upset that my father could not attend school in such a rural setting...there were no schools for forty miles. On Lucy's insistance, Kathryn let my father go to stay with her and dad began attending school at Saint Callistus in Kane. My father seems to recall spending weekends with his mother, while his father worked overtime in the fields. He seldom saw Clarence. He remembers that Kathryn would have gentlemen callers from time to time. Of course, I am not sure what these gentlemen did with Kathryn--if anything.
Dad had only one interest and fascination as a child--airplanes, or aeroplanes as they were called in the day. He spent most of his waking hours watching the skies for these rare mechanical birds. He jokingly tells me that, "...I always had my head in the clouds." He was determined, even as a small child, to one day sit behind the controls of that winged machine.
One Autumn day in 1933, my dad was called to go back to the small rural home where he was coldly informed that his father, Clarence, was ill. Within a very short time, Clarence would be dead--a victim of infantile paralysis, otherwise known as Polio. His brief memories of his father in an iron lung were the last living memories of Clarence Boylan for my father. Dad was eight years old.
The next memory my father had of Clarence was his cold, lifeless body...laid out in his family's parlor. Dad was forced to kneel over the coffin, where the small child was told to lead the family in a Rosary. For those of you who aren't Catholic, praying a Rosary is a lengthy process. My father performed the prayers robotically as he cried tears that he didn't fully comprehend and time seemed to stand still. When it was over, he was whisked to Lucy's, where he would be raised away from his mother and siblings for the next several years.
This is how life started for a little guy who always had his head in the clouds, and I cry as I retell the story.
A rare photo of Clarence a few years
before his death. Pictured with him are
my dad and my Aunt Jane.
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Manhattan Project
My father was stationed at an Air Base in Salinas, California in 1945. He was with a buddy partying in a neighboring town and they hitchhiked back to Salinas, getting a ride from a pipe smoking old man in bib overalls. "Where you fellas headed?," he asked. Dad told the old man that they were on their way back to the base and the elderly gentleman informed him that he couldn't take them all the way, but that he would be able to take them most of the way. "We're about to head out to Hawaii where we'll be training as flight officers," my father said enthusiastically. The old man pulled his 1937 Chevy truck to the side of the road and looked my father in the eye. "How long you think this war's gonna last, son?"
"Hell, I don't know."
"Well, I don't think it's gonna last much longer...I don't think you fellas will be goin' anywhere," the rugged old man said with a self-satisfied smug on his weathered face. "You ever hear of the Manhattan Project?"
"No," answered dad. The man pulled back onto the road.
"Well, you will," he smiled. "You will."
Two days later, as my dad chowed down at a Chinese restaurant in Salinas, news came over the radio that the Japanese surrendered after a second atomic bomb exploded over the city of Nagasaki. It had been a top-secret project labled "Manhattan."
Dad still doesn't know who the old man was.
"Hell, I don't know."
"Well, I don't think it's gonna last much longer...I don't think you fellas will be goin' anywhere," the rugged old man said with a self-satisfied smug on his weathered face. "You ever hear of the Manhattan Project?"
"No," answered dad. The man pulled back onto the road.
"Well, you will," he smiled. "You will."
Two days later, as my dad chowed down at a Chinese restaurant in Salinas, news came over the radio that the Japanese surrendered after a second atomic bomb exploded over the city of Nagasaki. It had been a top-secret project labled "Manhattan."
Dad still doesn't know who the old man was.
(scroll to the bottom to hear an audio version of this story)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tough Questions To Ask Elderly Parents
According to the Financial Literacy Center, from an article in "New Man" magazine, there is a list of nine questions children of elderly parents should ask. I've no doubt they are important things...after all, the article is based on--centered around--financial issues. But it's amazing to me that these are touted as the tough questions. Questions such as "Do you have up-to-date wills?" and "Do you have hidden assets or liabilities?" It seems to me that these questions are fairly easy. The tough questions, in my opinion, are much more personal. Things like "Can you tell me about your past disappointments, accomplishments?, What do you fear, if anything, about growing older?, What is your biggest regret in life?" It seems to me that these are the really tough questions--and not always because a parent is reluctant to answer them. I think the real reason they are so tough is that we--their children--don't necessarily want to hear the answers.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Dad's Story: Part I
(an audio version of this essay can be accessed at the bottom of the page)
Saturday, July 18, 2009
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