Doubting Thomas Revisited

 It's always a challenge when I have the big blank space before me but sometimes, I produce something that seems audience worthy. I hope this speaks to you:

It seems like such a scary time in our society right now. Some might argue with me using the word seems because what they are seeing with their eyes can't be doubted. "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed" comes to mind for some reason. As a reminder, it's what was purportedly said by Jesus to his disciple Thomas when he doubted that Christ had risen. It was an admonishment to be sure but I don't think it ruined Thomas' chances at heaven. Thomas saw the wounds with his body's eyes. He stopped doubting after he made physical contact with his hands--at Jesus' request. Was Jesus trying to make a deeper point that may have been overlooked even by the writers of Holy Scripture? A point that had more to do with the rest of us, along with Thomas?

What I see when I look out on the world informs me of one of these two things: love or fear. In fact, I can put any emotion or thing into columns beneath each of these words. I can look upon the world I see (even with my body's eyes) with love. It is possible. And it is now more urgent than ever. Every person I see deserves my love first. The rest will follow if it's directed by love. How is it accomplished? Thomas answered himself: "I believe." So now, we must believe what we don't see. And what our body's eyes don't show us. The hardest task is to apply this to everyone. Consider watching any news report via social media or legacy media. We quickly ascribe (in all cases and on all sides) guilt or blame to one person or one side based on our knowledge. And our knowledge is flawed. I've never met a human being who knows everything. That just seems to me to be more of God's job. I honestly don't know where anyone is coming from--even if I relate with feelings. What my body's eyes don't see is the pain of losing a loved one to violence, the fear of losing life or limb, fear of any kind of loss. What I don't see are the children of these people divided into tribes--yearning for some kind of normalcy, the people who fear they are being forced to abandon their way of life, the countless people seemingly lost in depression and addiction. That is because I am letting my body (alternately known as my ego) direct my vision. 

If I start with love, it is different. I connect with people. I don't see all the details and I don't need to. There is some starting point well before violence in cases where fear is the director but the outcome is never good. The ultimate result of starting with love is that judgment doesn't preclude any assessment. 

Is it easy to slip back into my body's eyes from time to time? Every day! The moment I open them until I close them again at night or in the wee hours of the morning. And most of the time I have to remind myself that what I'm seeing isn't real. In essence, I am spirit. I'm reminded of the opening lines from A Course in Miracles:

"Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God." 

If I really believe in eternity, I need to remind myself of that fact every day. Part of that reminder is a dose of reality while I inhabit this body (or appear to inhabit it). I know that almost qualifies as "crazy talk" but hear me out: There's got to be a reason I'm seeing all of this. Could the reason possibly be to see it another way? It certainly is a miracle to see a risen Christ. I honestly can't imagine what it would have been like for the disciples to see Him. A mixture of shock and disbelief would seem pretty normal. Imagine if the real message is the miracle of seeing what we really don't or can't see with the body's eyes. Because, like it or not, they will one day be attached to a corpse. If that thought generates fear, we have some work to do. 

(Caravaggio: "The Incredulity of St. Thomas" at Sanssouci Picture Gallery, Potsdam, Germany)

Echoes of Curiosity

 I was finally able to iron out a few technical kinks and just plowed into my first episode of "Echoes of Curiosity" which lasted all of seven minutes, seven seconds. I liked it! There were lots of "um's" and "uhh's" and a few awkward pauses but the whole thing is totally unedited and sincere. 

I have had this idea to do a YouTube series of videos for some time. I think it originated back during the pandemic and, for the past two months, I've decided to get serious about it--even as I continue to familiarize myself with video editing (way more difficult than I thought!) and work with what I've thus far found to be the best format (the fantastically reliable ZOOM) and there it was! I'll share it here for you.

https://youtube.com/@tboylan837?si=npd86E-tMuCb74kb

With that said, I am thrilled to have you connect with me any way that is comfortable and convenient for you! Whether it's on one of my few social media accounts or via this blog Eating Words or now on my YouTube channel Echoes of Curiosity. I'm one of those people who spends an inordinate amount of time on social media and it's become such a toxic place with so much rage and hatred displayed daily. Despite that, I still find bright spots and try to follow folks who want to bring some positivity to the arena. At the same time, I unfollow folks who do the opposite. It can be time consuming to sift and purge, but I don't see myself giving up social media any time soon. So Echoes of Curiosity was my personal solution as I shift all of my social media to begin sharing something more meaningful. 

I wonder what observations are waiting for us out there. I'm curious. Are you?

Love Train

 2026 is here and there are no resolutions. This is on purpose, by design, with absolute intention. I have made resolutions in years past only to disappoint myself just months into the year as commitments to drop various habits or create new ones seem to vanish as quickly as the all too brief cold weather here in Atlanta. I do like to continue things that work, however. And one of those things concerns sending love. Sincerely. 

When I refer to "sending love" I'm really talking about transmitting feelings of real love to anyone. And by anyone, I mean anyone. First, I'll clarify what "real" love is. Real love is simply not fake. I could say "I love ____ " about anyone, yes, but saying it and meaning it are definitely two different things. It sounds relatively easy until one tries to do it. And I'm sure even the most advanced spiritual seekers have moments of difficulty with this. Try it. Just think of someone in your life who's difficult to love. Then, send them loving thoughts. Send them love. Remember, it has to be sincere...real. One can't fake this. But when I achieve it, something truly miraculous happens. I feel good. I feel like a great weight has been lifted. And the reason I feel this way is because it has. 

One of many good things about this practice is that one can accomplish the task with persons living or dead. It works especially well for me if I'm dealing with some unresolved issue from my past. There are countless people with whom I've had some "beef" about some real or imagined slight and for years, these feelings have gnawed away at my psyche. Now, when I'm taking a shower (for me, this is where I usually hash out a laundry list of grievances and worries as I concentrate on everything but the task at hand) I simply stop mid-thought and send whoever it is I'm thinking about... love. Sometimes, I have to do it more than once. In fact, I often have to do it three or four times before it becomes sincere. But it immediately stops all judgement of the person or situation in its tracks. 

For the past few years, I've taken to listening to 70s music while showering. The original intention was to get my mind off of all the drumbeats of grievances and resentments I still carry into my 6th decade. It has never worked, mind you. But many of those songs tap into memories both pleasant and painful. And they usually revolve around certain people--those who, at one time or another hurt me. Or tried to hurt me. Or, perhaps, never meant to hurt me but I perceived it that way. The approach begins this way: First, I recognize the fact that no one can hurt me. This may come as a shock to some but it's absolutely true. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" as she referred to giving one the power to hurt. She was highlighting the fact that our internal reaction and self-worth, not external opinions, determine how much we're affected by others' negative actions or words. And, if I'm totally honest with myself, my life is chalk full of my "allowances." 

The second--and honestly the most miraculous part of this exercise is picturing the person. The most challenging ones are, of course, those who've done the most egregious things (again, perceived) to me. As I begin to transmit those feelings of love, something ethereal begins to happen. It's not forgiveness. That is an entirely different ball game. It's simply love. And it's transcendent. 

Today, as I was taking my shower on this first day of the new year, my 70s playlist included "Love Train"...a treasure from 1973 by the O'Jays. The lyrics include the following:

People all over the world join hands

Start a love train

Love train

Ride, let it ride

Let it ride

Let it ride

Aside from the fact that it had me singing and yes, dancing, it had me thinking about love. That's always a good thing. I think 2026 might be the year for my love train. Will you join me? 

https://youtu.be/_BlkTSKqE_8?si=fM-E11MLaF51yCnY