2026 is here and there are no resolutions. This is on purpose, by design, with absolute intention. I have made resolutions in years past only to disappoint myself just months into the year as commitments to drop various habits or create new ones seem to vanish as quickly as the all too brief cold weather here in Atlanta. I do like to continue things that work, however. And one of those things concerns sending love. Sincerely.
When I refer to "sending love" I'm really talking about transmitting feelings of real love to anyone. And by anyone, I mean anyone. First, I'll clarify what "real" love is. Real love is simply not fake. I could say "I love ____ " about anyone, yes, but saying it and meaning it are definitely two different things. It sounds relatively easy until one tries to do it. And I'm sure even the most advanced spiritual seekers have moments of difficulty with this. Try it. Just think of someone in your life who's difficult to love. Then, send them loving thoughts. Send them love. Remember, it has to be sincere...real. One can't fake this. But when I achieve it, something truly miraculous happens. I feel good. I feel like a great weight has been lifted. And the reason I feel this way is because it has.
One of many good things about this practice is that one can accomplish the task with persons living or dead. It works especially well for me if I'm dealing with some unresolved issue from my past. There are countless people with whom I've had some "beef" about some real or imagined slight and for years, these feelings have gnawed away at my psyche. Now, when I'm taking a shower (for me, this is where I usually hash out a laundry list of grievances and worries as I concentrate on everything but the task at hand) I simply stop mid-thought and send whoever it is I'm thinking about... love. Sometimes, I have to do it more than once. In fact, I often have to do it three or four times before it becomes sincere. But it immediately stops all judgement of the person or situation in its tracks.
For the past few years, I've taken to listening to 70s music while showering. The original intention was to get my mind off of all the drumbeats of grievances and resentments I still carry into my 6th decade. It has never worked, mind you. But many of those songs tap into memories both pleasant and painful. And they usually revolve around certain people--those who, at one time or another hurt me. Or tried to hurt me. Or, perhaps, never meant to hurt me but I perceived it that way. The approach begins this way: First, I recognize the fact that no one can hurt me. This may come as a shock to some but it's absolutely true. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" as she referred to giving one the power to hurt. She was highlighting the fact that our internal reaction and self-worth, not external opinions, determine how much we're affected by others' negative actions or words. And, if I'm totally honest with myself, my life is chalk full of my "allowances."
The second--and honestly the most miraculous part of this exercise is picturing the person. The most challenging ones are, of course, those who've done the most egregious things (again, perceived) to me. As I begin to transmit those feelings of love, something ethereal begins to happen. It's not forgiveness. That is an entirely different ball game. It's simply love. And it's transcendent.
Today, as I was taking my shower on this first day of the new year, my 70s playlist included "Love Train"...a treasure from 1973 by the O'Jays. The lyrics include the following:
People all over the world join hands
Start a love train
Love train
Ride, let it ride
Let it ride
Let it ride
Aside from the fact that it had me singing and yes, dancing, it had me thinking about love. That's always a good thing. I think 2026 might be the year for my love train. Will you join me?
https://youtu.be/_BlkTSKqE_8?si=fM-E11MLaF51yCnY
